The Great Issues Of Our Day And Generation – Number 2 ... COMING OUT

 My walk into tolerance and love towards those different to myself

On September 11^th I wrote my longest ever blog in which I shared my personal thoughts about that tragic day back in 2001 when the World Trade Centre in New York was destroyed. Today I want to write about another major issue of our times and that is the subject of LGBT.

The LBGT (or Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) issue is a subject that has challenged my values and beliefs at a very deep level. As many of you know I went to an Evangelical Bible School back in 1979/1980. I used to describe myself as a fundamentalist, bible believing, born again, pentecostal, charismatic practicing Christian, if it said it in the good book I believed it literally!

My Dad was a lay preacher and part of my reason for attending bible school was to help me get through my preaching exams more quickly than my Dad did. Cliff College in Derbyshire had (and I think still has) the slogan “Evangelize Or Perish!” I didn’t really think much about the LGBT issue back then, but if I had done I would certainly been of the opinion that homosexuality etc. was sinful.

When a friend of mine from church, in confidence revealed, to me about ten years after I left bible school, that he was having dreams in which he was acting out homosexually fantasies I suggest he spoke with the church elders as I felt ill equipped to help him. What happened next was not what I expected, the elders set up a special prayer meeting in which they attempted to “cast out a demon.”

This was most disturbing for my friend at the time, but it certainly gave him the message that he must try to repress any homosexual desires he was having; that it was sinful to act out such thoughts. My friend later revealed to me that from an early age he had been looking at boys, the way I had looked at girls from my early teens.

I left the church in 1993 and I have been absent from the life of the church for 20 years. The reason I left was because I didn’t think the leadership of the local church were following what the bible taught and when I challenged them about this, they said that they weren’t willing to change the culture. I had to choose whether to speak out or walk away; I walked!

If you no longer belong to a group of people that you have spent your life with, then the views not held by that group have an opportunity to present themselves to you for your approval or disapproval. My Dad used to say to me “Andrew, you have everything as black and white, but there are a million shades of grey!”

So time passes on, and my friend finally “comes out” as being gay to his friends and family. I saw it as an act of great bravery at the time, because like him I was concerned as to how those closest to him would react or respond. It was a difficult time for him and it got me quite angry how some people’s attitudes towards him changed.

It was as if he had somehow become a different person, and yet I couldn’t see him any differently to the way I had always known him to be. This left me questioning my belief in the approach I took to the scriptures. I knew what the bible had to say about homosexuality and I had to make up my own mind as to whether I could now in light of my friends experiences, accept its teachings or not.

If I agreed with it then I had to be willing to tell my friend that he was not allowed by god to be who he is, despite god having made him that way. Alternatively I had to decide that the bible had made a mistake and if it had that the pedestal that I had put the holy scriptures on must fall. I chose the latter, because in my mind god is a god of love, not hatred.

This then led me on to have a problem with the bible’s teaching about sin. Sin we were taught at bible school is what separates us from god, that Jesus died for our sins, that everyone is a sinner. The bible tars us all with the same brush; “original sin” is what we are born with! The innocent baby in its cot or pram has the sin of Adam and is therefore unrighteous.

I accepted and preached this in the past because of my total trust in the doctrine of scripture being “god breathed” and written by the holy spirit, straight from the throne room of god. I was shocked to find myself saying that the scriptures that refer to homosexuality must have been written not by the holy spirit but by homophobic men.

I don’t believe that “God hates fags!” and yet back in the day, it wouldn’t have taken much pressure from my fellow believers for me to say such a thing. My friend has found himself a boyfriend recently and although in theory I had changed my mind about many things, I was concerned about meeting this “significant other” in my friend’s life.

I wondered if I would feel comfortable in their presence. It was a little awkward to begin with, but within a very short space of time I was surprised to find how wonderfully well it felt for me to see the two of them together. My friend has “come out” and admitted to himself and to those who know him, who in all authenticity he is. He is now able to be himself and lead a fulfilled life!

I believe we are all on a journey of discovery that we are here to grow into something unique and wonderful that the Earth has never seen in a human being before. The judgements we make on how others live their lives, on what is right and wrong, only ever reveals to the world what is wrong with us, and how intolerant we are, rather than anything we might be saying about others.

As for my concept of sin, I must return to the “Lord’s Prayer” where Jesus taught his disciples to say “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. The way to get into god’s presence is through being willing to forgive not only those who we believe have wronged us, and maybe even god, but to forgive ourselves too!

How someone else lives their lives, if it doesn’t affect me or the rest of society is totally their business. Someone who is just being themselves and their actions isn’t affecting me and my life should be left alone to do what they want to do in the privacy of their own home! Human sexuality is a perfect example of an area where the state and church authorities should leave well alone.

Tolerance, love and understanding are values that I believe better represent God’s love than the endless preaching of hellfire and damnation. Those who attempt to organise and control the lives of others through the use of certain scriptures which portray god as a vindictive old man in the sky have missed the verse “The law came through Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ!”

I am not asking you to accept what I am saying here. I would much rather you were willing to tolerate me and my views whilst remaining true to the person you are today, with the beliefs rules and values you hold. But then to to be willing to grow as a human being and fully embrace the life you were meant to live. In that much I hope you will “come out” and be yourself!